Riely, this story would be a good one for our Keeping Ourselves Safe unit. I am wondering how the victim is going to solve the situation he is in. You have included lots of description and detail in your writing. I will sit down with you and we will go through and add punctuation which will improve the sense your story makes.
That is really good Riely you have a talent. I really like how you have put descriptive words in to your writing because it gives me a vision in my head. You could make a few more paragraphs so it is easier to read. I can't wait to see the finished product.
Riely, this story would be a good one for our Keeping Ourselves Safe unit. I am wondering how the victim is going to solve the situation he is in.
ReplyDeleteYou have included lots of description and detail in your writing. I will sit down with you and we will go through and add punctuation which will improve the sense your story makes.
That is really good Riely you have a talent. I really like how you have put descriptive words in to your writing because it gives me a vision in my head. You could make a few more paragraphs so it is easier to read. I can't wait to see the finished product.
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great job so far Riely, once you prof read it then it will be a great story.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for the comments! 😀
ReplyDeleteGood intro if you prof reed it then it will be amazing good job Riely.
ReplyDelete